I have been wanting to write for several days now after a long silence. The problem is simply getting past the first post. The one where for narrative completeness I have to say in black and white what happened.

The short version is that shortly after my last post I was hospitalized for yet more bleeding and they ended up keeping me until 32 weeks. At 32 weeks they decided enough was enough and they delivered my son, Oliver Timothy. He did really well for a week and then things went very wrong very fast and he died.

Now we are doing the “after”. The what comes next; the what now. There are many many long versions of this story which will come out over time I think. There are also many many miracles and so much grace in all of this. I understand the “peace which passes all understanding” better than I ever thought I would. I am desperately sad and I miss him terribly and I don’t actually know what comes next or what now but here I am and on I will go.

Hopefully now that this post is out of the way I’ll be able to write more in the coming days. I hope so.


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