Finding the funny

In the interest of trying to regain the funny, I share with you this story from our drive home yesterday.

Scene: Our car.

People: Anika and mama.

Ani is in her carseat eating raisins. She’s chattering away about her day and starts saying something like “daiseh” or “raiseh”. Now, as an aside, in two year old speak “desert” and “raisin” sound startlingly similar. She’s been asking for the desert song by Hillsong in the car lately, and she’s EATING raisins, so it’s fairly reasonable to assume she’s talking about one or the other. I ask her if she wants to listen to Desert. She says “Raiseh!” I say “Yes darlin, you are having raisins! Isn’t that great?”

Lalalala driving.

She’s still babbling back there. I glance at her in my rearview mirror to see that she’s got her finger up her nose. “ANI! Get your finger out of your nose!” says I. “Raiseh raiseh raiseh!” says she.

I THINK YOU SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

So I say “Anika, did you put a raisin up your nose?” She nods agreeably and says yes. Now this is not a foolproof answer as she is a rather agreeable sort of girl in general and just says “yes” to a lot of things. So I keep driving and repeating the question more and more urgently and she says “Yes, raiseh, nose.”

Aw crap. So we stop the car and I get in the backseat and I am peering up her nose as best I can to try to figure out what on earth is going on. I can see nothing, as her nose is rather wee. At this point I’m pretty convinced that there is, in fact, a raisin up there somewhere. The question is how on earth do I get it out, ideally without going to a hospital since I’m REALLY REALLY reluctant to go back to one of those.

So I try to get her to blow through her nose but that is a miserable failure – she hasn’t figured out how to do that yet. The only other thing I can think of to do – and I am so not proud of this – is put my mouth around her nose and suck.

YES, EW, and THANK YOU GOD that she doesn’t have a cold.

That (thankfully?) doesn’t work. I confirm with her again that there IS a raisin up her nose, just in case I maybe misunderstood the situation. Alas, no.

So I go for broke and use my little finger nail and basically pick the poor child’s nose. Also ew. Also probably dangerous as there’s the risk of shoving the thing in there further.

But, SUCCESS!

Raisin retrieved. Relieved mama who doesn’t have to go to a hospital. Ani says “I eat this?” I say “EW, NO NO NO and a thousand times no – lets go HOME.”

Of course for the rest of the night she keeps pointing to her nose and saying “raisin, nose, ouch.” I am still terrified that there’s another one up there somewhere but I am reasonably certain there is not and she is just remembering the previous encounter. But still. Yikes.

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